13 September 2019
“Absolute Shambles”… “Utter Catastrophe”… “Possible Crimes against Humanity”…
Each of the following phrases has been used at one point or another by various members of the cast and crew to describe the process of creating the widely anticipated film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, in which notorious Hollywood bad boy Tom Hanks portrays the hard-partying life of Fred Rogers – creator of the iconic children’s program Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and, allegedly, several early strains of high potency marijuana.
The film as been widely lauded in the media as “a whiteknuckle thrillride” and “a rollicking, whisky and cocaine-fueled romp” by critics from The New Yorker and the Los Angeles Times. Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers writes, “From the very first minute, the audience is mesmerized by the pure, unadulterated sexual energy Hanks has become known for over the last several decades. As with previous films like The Green Mile and You’ve Got Mail, Hanks displays a reckless, animalistic presence that threatens to leap off the screen and #metoo everyone in the audience – regardless of sex.”
However, despite his iconic status, all is not well in the neighborhood: A special investigation by WikiLeeks Media Staff reveals widespread allegations of illicit drug use, human trafficking, and illegal arms sales on the set of the hotly anticipated blockbuster.
At the center of each of these explosive allegations, is Hanks, who rose to fame following the 1984 release of Splash, a low-budget indie flick directed by the at-the-time unknown Ron Howard in which Hanks repeatedly engaged in sexual relations with a genetically compromised fish-woman.
Since the release of Splash, Hanks has terrorized Hollywood and filled cinema seats for over two decades.
Onscreen, Hanks solidified his status as an American counterculture icon by starring in such films as the classic stoner flick Budless in Seattle, the slapstick comedy-caper Philadelphia, and the Vietnam war era classic Forrest Gump: First Blood.
Off the screen, Hanks has made headlines for his frequent and public use of hard drugs, increasingly public misogyny, and consistent support of firearms and the Second Amendment.
And thus, according to several members of Neighborhood’s cast and crew, the infamous Hanks reputation has been alive and well on the set of the upcoming family movie.
According to once source, Hanks called off shooting for several months without any prior warning in order to “see an arms deal with those crooked fuckers from Equatorial New Guinea over the finish line.”
One crew member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told Wikileeks, “We all complained when he announced he was suspending filming without pay… But then he gleefully showed us a video on his iPhone of him and Guinean despot Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo flaying several dissenters alive for having attempted to report on the arms deal… After that, we thought maybe a creative break might be fruitful.”
From there, according to sources on the set close to Hanks, the bad behavior from the star only got worse.
“A good amount of the cast – mainly child actor extras, mind you – went down with a case of food poisoning during the middle filming some important scenes. Rather than abide by Screen Actors’ Guild union rules, Hanks decided he would ship in a container full of enslaved Rohingya children from Myanmar,” another anonymous member of the cast told WikiLeeks, adding, “… those kids knocked it out of the ballpark in maybe two takes; consummate professionals.”
At one point during filming, Hanks was reportedly found acting erratically and experiencing withdrawal symptoms in his trailer, requiring film staff and Hanks’ agent to call Hanks’ friend and frequent collaborator Steven Spielberg, who then coaxed him out of the trailer with an eightball of uncut speed.
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, we had to do this at least a half dozen times on the set of Catch Me If You Can, ” Spielberg told reporters, attempting to laugh off several incidents in which a naked and raving Hanks chased a terrified Leonardo di Caprio around Paramount Studios in a golfcart.
Ultimately, the rumors and allegations have only served to increase the hype surrounding the film’s imminent release.
One fan commented in an online forum, “I remember when, totally unscripted, Hanks improvised a scene during the Da Vinci Code in which he had graphic sex with a cantaloupe in front of a stunned Audrey Tautou… I can’t wait to see what subtle surprises he offers this time!”
Despite the uproar on set, Hanks bad behavior is doing nothing to dampen the film’s lofty expectations; during last week’s Venice Film Festival, a scene in which Hanks viciously mocks several children with learning disabilities drew a standing ovation from those in attendance.
Final Verdict: 4/5 stars
WikiLeeks News Services 