In 2007, it was illegal surveillance and Spygate.
In 2014, it was air pressure anomalies and Deflategate.
In 2019, Bill Belichick – the eight time Super Bowl champion/Latest candidate to fill the vacant position of “Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts” at the magical academy of Hogwarts – having duplicitously misled every NFL executive on a consistent basis for several decades, is back at it again.
This time, as the NFL prepares to open play in the third decade of the current century, it appears psychological warfare and poaching are on the table for the eight time Super Bowl champion.
Last weekend, following several asinine weeks of drama, helmet related insinuations, contrived social media posts, and countless repetitions of thoughtlessly knocking on wood, Oakland Raiders WR Antonio Brown secured his acrimonious release following several fines and the voiding of his guaranteed salary.
Only hours later, it was announced that Brown would be trading in his Black and Silver for the prerequisite red lightsaber used by all Patriot Sith Lords and, rather than plying his trade in the Bay, lining up in New England down the line from superstar QB Darth Brady.
Speaking to reporters in New England early Tuesday, Brown said, “I’m really excited to come to a team that offers the best talent, amazing coaching, and the Sith promise of eternal life and unparalleled power.”
As Brown settles in New England, however, reports continue to emerge concerning Brown’s having engineered his release from the Raiders by consistently generating controversy relating to his helmet, social media posts, and pressing desire to kill all Jedi younglings at the Raiders practice facility.
As such, many are beginning to wonder… Given his notable, conspicuous history as a Sith Lord, to what extent did Belichick participate and/or direct Brown’s actions?
As critics and supporters continue to debate this point, another controversy threatens yet another of the game’s top receivers as Odell Beckham Jr. – aka ODB Jr. – refuses to not wear a $250,000 plastic watch he notably wore during the Browns’ opening week loss to Titans.
While all reports are still unofficial at this time, sources tell WikiLeeks Sport that ODB Jr. is wearing the watch to generate controversy and secure a similar release to Brown’s. Sources tell WikiLeeks’ staff that Belichick has sent several reassuring texts to ODB Jr., that the watch gambit will ultimately pay off and secure his release, with one message even going so far as to ironically quote the seminal 2013 Trinidad James lyric “… Don’t believe me just watch.”
For his part, ODB Jr. cryptically responded to reporters about the watch outside the Browns facility, “Ladies don’t love shit. Ladies just act like they love. You understand what I’m sayin’? It’s an act when it comes to Ol Dirty Bastard. They ACT like they love Ol Dirty – ladies don’t love Ol Dirty Bastard because … Ol Dirty Bastard is busy lovin’ them. They might like Ol Dirty Bastard, know what I’m sayin? They might listen to his music or something, but really they don’t pay no mind. They pay nothing no mind, nothing is paid a mind to, really, on this earth. It’s just living, and dying. The world is a big ball of fire and it’s just burning with no feeling.”
WikiLeeks News Services 